Are you struggling to find the perfect present for that special person in your life? That special person who may or may not know that you were in their back garden last night? Why not give them a unique, personalised gift that will last a lifetime? The gift of a god.
There are quite literally dozens of gods. From the sprightly flute-playing deities of joy and peace to mighty abominations hell-bent on the destruction of the entire universe (including your face), there is a god to suit every taste and for any occasion.
From just £20 you can name a god of your choice from a variety of religions, creating a timeless and quite unique keepsake that can be cherished forever.
Each god comes in its own beautiful hand-crafted gift box featuring your chosen name, a framed pictorial representation of your supreme being and a luxury leather-bound booklet detailing the god’s history and divine powers.
Here are some gods named by our previous clients:
What are you waiting for? Order today. Our staff are poised like ravenous hyenas to take your call.
Please note that while naming a god as a gift or goodwill gesture will almost certainly win you favour with the recipient, it is unlikely to be recognised by any faith of merit and does not imply or infer any legal rights in respect of your chosen god.
Got anything in the ‘Suspicious Moles’ department (the digging ones, not the itchy ones) or perhaps ‘Stubborn Grass Stains Removal’?
I only ask as it’s my parole officer’s birthday coming up and he could with a minor smiting.
Ta,
SJJ
I names a puddle near my house that never dried up, even at the the height of summer ‘MIGHTY DAMPLOR’ Does this count?
Not a million miles from ELECTROCLEMENCE, the god of stagnant cholera-infested pools.