One from the archives here, but since I’ve been neglecting you all a little I thought I’d spoil you rotten by dousing you in this hot spray of sticky liquid fun. The following is an exchange betwixt myself and one scamming Nigerian bastard. I’m afraid I have since lost the images that accompanied the story, but will attempt to convey their content using words.
From: philtom [mailto:philtom@ummah.org]
Sent: Sun 29/08/2004 03:46
To: rodti macleary
Subject: BUSINESS MANAGEMENT & CONCEPT.
Graham Linehan (yes that Graham Linehan) will be watching M Night Shyamalan’s ‘The Happening on Friday night. At 9pm on Friday night, to be precise. While simultaneously tearing it a voluminous new posterior void on Twitter with a vast coven of bastards from the internet. It promises to be mildly amusing.
More information here.
As a decidedly questionable method of ‘big upping’ the blogs of my peers, I hereby dedicate this, the internet’s first ‘blog stab‘ to a hapless Welshman and his bawling idiocy:
The Electric Interfunt has blog stabbed poor, defenceless Res Ipsa Loquitur, the personal weblog of Simon J James. Taking one look at the vast quantities of blood spurting from its severed jugular, Res Ipsa Loquitur desperately tries to scramble away, but The Electric Interfunt gives chase, pinning Res Ipsa Loquitur to the ground and plunging the blade into its soft abdomen again and again and again.
After burying Res Ipsa Loquitur in a shallow grave, The Electric Interfunt lights a cigarette in the darkness and laughs a terrible, hollow laugh.
Res Ipsa Loquitur is dead.
Res Ipsa Loquitur has completed 0.05% of the internet.
Since I’m a gadget ponce I do like to keep up with the Joneses, and while MobileMe does fancypants push email which quite literally shoves your messages into the quivering bowels of your phone, my normal email address doesn’t. This made me sad, and I found that my relationships and life in general suffered as a result of it. I started using drugs and self-harming, and soon spiralled down to the absolute nadir of squalor and self-loathing. This is generally considered to be a bad thing.
Oh dear oh dear. Poor Ray.
My favourite Youtube comment of the week:
Steve i got sick recently too! I recently got lukemia (Whatever that is) so yeah. I don’t fell to sick right now
Give it time, my child, give it time.
Bad Behavior has blocked 121 access attempts in the last 7 days.
