Well yes I suppose I have been rather quiet of late, but I’ve been busy in my internets laboratory sticking bits of dead rabbits onto potatoes like some sort of sickening Mr Potato (Rabbit) Head thing. I suppose it’s all a bit of a secret, but it’s a scary secret and it’ll be rammed up your well-oiled internet pipes before you have the chance to politely decline.
Adopt the position.
Hurry up and finish. I have things to look at.
Do something, you utter whore.