You don’t rent the or buy the Zohan either. You don’t ever watch the Zohan under any circumstances. You do not allow others to watch the Zohan. You do not speak of the Zohan.
Now I like racism as much as the next man*, but someone needs to tell Adam Sandler that there’s only so much comedy material to be found in parodying stereotypes of Jews and Arabs, and certainly not enough to fill one hour and fifty six minutes.
ONE HOUR AND FIFTY SIX MINUTES OF MY FUCKING LIFE THAT I’LL NEVER GET BACK.
Wouldn’t it be funny if I was Arab, and declared a fatwa on Adam Sandler? Because he’s probably, like, a Jew and stuff? And Arabs are just mental and declare fatwas all the time! Hah! That’s comedy fucking gold, right there.
* A funny joke. Take note, Sandler.
Be mildly heartened that although a mere two hours of your life were thieved it must have taken Sandler a number of days to film. That’s a number of days which he will never get back compared to your twelfth.
I think I might calculate a rough estimate of how many breaths I took during YDMWTZ and, should I ever meet Mr Sandler, physically deny him the opportunity to take a similar number.
It’s an Adam Sandler movie! What drove you to even watch it in the first place? What did you expect? Sophisticated Frasier-style wordplay? Swiftian satire? Even South Park levels of humorous crudity? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!
I see now that I’ve been a fool of truly Brobdingnagian proportions.
I’m curious to know though, did anyone actually mess with the Zohan? Because clearly, the title of the film bears a stark and unequivocal warning.
Yes, people did mess with the Zohan, with hilarious consequences.