“RUBBISH!” I cried as my second pair of Clarks shoes to fail catastrophically on me in a month flopped uselessly around my feet this very morning. First the very suggestion of snow caused my fashionable ‘Rom Lee’ to split across the sole in December, and today the heel of a pair of natty Oxfords I had purchased from Cyrus and James Clark (Footwear) has removed itself from the base in an embarrassing and impractical fashion.
I shall endeavour to visit your Edinburgh presence at luncheon today and cause some sort of a scene, after which I shall purchase new shoes from an ALTERNATIVE HIGH-STREET COBBLER.
Yours angrily,
Mr Rodti MacLeary (barefoot)
